A1 Watchman Nee - How I Met JESUS
The conversion
Testimony of Watchman Ndinteh
My mother was already a born-again Christian, who had
made Jesus Christ her Lord and Saviour when I was born on the 7th of May 1975. I
was thus exposed to the clear preaching of the Gospel of the salvation that God
offers man through Jesus Christ from my very tender age. At the age of five I
went to my mother and told her that I wanted to become a child of God. She
preached to me the gospel of Jesus Christ telling me that because of my sins I
was separated from God and that I was going to perish in the lake of fire. She
told me about how bad sin was and asked me to confess my sins. I confessed to
her my sin of theft of carrots from her fridge and the she led me to ask the
Lord Jesus Christ to come into my heart as my Lord and Saviour. From the little
remembrance I have of that period, Jesus Christ was all to me. I just loved
Him. I walked with Him and, even though I was a normal child with all the
pranks of a child, I loved Jesus. Academically I did well at school and was
often at the top of my class. Our spiritual leader adopted me as his son and
gave me the rights as his blood children. This was because my blood father was
living in another country and we had had no word from him and did not know his
whereabouts. I eventually went to live with him and thus entered a near ideal
setting for my spiritual progress.
I went on to college. In form one I won a scholarship
of 10 000 FCFA and immediately I
brought it to my father and he lifted it up and gave it to
God. Spiritually, I was healthy and academically, I was
doing well. In form four I was at the top of my class for
two terms and was second of my class in one term. It
was then that I backslid in my heart. I began to lust for
the type of life that I saw my school mates were living. In my heart I began to
desire sin. I began to desire to
experience illicit sex. I wanted to have a girl friend like
my mates had. I began to desire to be rich and I began
to desire popularity with my schoolmates. I backslid in
my relationship with God. I realised that the company of certain type of people
began to trouble me. Those people who loved God totally and radically began to
trouble me by their presence. I began to fear my father's presence and of
course avoided all contacts with him except where it was not possible to
escape. I changed my company. I remember one of my friends who was not a
born-again believer but admired me for my stand for God and my zeal for God
told me that he does not like what I am becoming and right there and then the
new friend I had began to make said he liked what I was becoming. This troubled
me but my heart had already strayed from God and I preferred the company of
this friend who approved of what I was becoming. I finally asked to leave my
father's home
and wanted to live where I would be free to indulge in a
life far from God because it was not possible to actively
live in sin and be with my father. I asked my mother that I wanted to leave my
adoptive father's home. I actually demanded it and left. I began to set plans to get
money. Because I knew that you could not belong partially to God and to this
world I totally abandoned everything that was of God. I set new goals where my
goals had been to do all for God I now set goals in making money by any means
possible. I knew that
little religiosity will end me in hell still. I decided that I
would pursue money with all of my might. I decided that would not try to pretend
with any form of being good. I knew only too well that apart from a total
Lordship and abandon to Jesus Christ fully I was going
to the lake of fire. I set a goal that I would be a rich man
by the age of twenty-two. I was then sixteen. I wanted to do drugs and anything
that would get me rich. I began to sink spiritually, academically and morally.
I became a very troublesome student at school and that
same year I was taken to the disciplinary council of the
school for rebellious conduct. My performance dropped drastically. My mother
gave me money to register for ten papers at the O'levels. I went to register
and instead registered for eight and spent the rest of
the money. In my lust for money I began to gamble.
By
the grace of God I passed the O'levels with 07 papers. I
went to high school and sunk deeper into sin. I began to
desire to experience what it was to have a girl friend
and to sleep with women. I was scared because I feared
the consequences of unwanted pregnancies, veneral diseases and death
eventually. I sunk deeper into gambling. We would gamble for twelve hours non-stop
forgetting to eat and drink. It soon became a bondage
to me I could not help but gamble. I began to steal from
my mother and anywhere I could without getting caught. Once when she realised
that I was no longer trust worthy she started locking up her room. I broke
the ceiling of the house and entered her room and stole
money. This was to be able to finance my sin habits. I lied to girls especially
promising marriage so as to be able to have them as my girl friends. I became a
troublesome student at school and ended up in the disciplinary council for the
second time in two years. I had become so terrible that the principal said to
me “We will not beat you. Your parents are Christians go that they should pray
for you because only prayer can help you now.” I was helpless and frightened
about what I had become over the years.
By the mercies of God, I passed into upper sixths. At
this point I must admit I was getting deeply disappointed inside and was
totally miserable. Academically of course I had dropped. I was just barely
promoted to upper sixths. I
barely passed. Due to my frustration I sunk deeper into
gambling.
I acquired the courage to kiss girls and
fondle their bodies yet was frightened of going further.
I tried drinking alcohol and found it bitter and bad tasting so I abandoned it.
I got into drinking whisky and was bound by it for a time but it did not
satisfy. I tried smoking but was too conscious of its health risks and had to
abandon it. I continued to cheat and to lie and to gamble. I spent massive
amounts in gambling so as not to
concentrate on the fact that I was perishing. I
still pursued my goal of getting money by any means
and now desired to start trafficking drugs but never got
anywhere. In upper sixths I was again taken to the disciplinary council for
gambling on school premises and the Principal gave me a five day suspension and
told me to come back after five days with my parents. I
went with my mother and a brother in church who was
a teacher in the school. And the principal insulted my mother saying she should
take her son away and bring him back when he has decided to stop gambling. This
was because the principal had asked us at the disciplinary council if we were
ready to stop gambling and I said that I could not stop because it was like drugs
in my blood. My mother burst into tears and I got up from the principal's
office and ran away. I did not go
back home that night and went instead gambling right
till 02.00 am. My mother called my father and told him. I was terrified. It was
as if she had shot a bullet through me when she told me that he was coming to
see me. I was frightened because I knew he had God. He came and told me to
write a letter of apology to the principal. At this point I was no more in
control. Gambling had taken possession of me. I could not help
but gamble. I wrote the letter and by the mercies of God
was readmitted into the school. We took our gambling
now into the bush. I stopped attending classes in upper
sixths and in all attended about twenty lectures for the
whole year. About one month to the Advance
levels I decided I
could find some peace and calm for my troubled soul in
dancing. I went to a night club and decided to dance. I
danced for five hours non stop. I danced and danced and danced and danced.
Every type of music that was
played found me dancing on the dance floor. After that
I went home. As I lay on my bed I realised that I was empty frustrated and
miserable. And a quiet voice asked me “Is that all?” I knew it was the Holy
Spirit. Frustrated helpless and bound by sin I went to my
mother and told her that I wanted to return to home to
my father. She quickly went and told him. At the family
devotion he asked my brothers and sisters that I wanted to come home. They
gladly accepted. I came back home but had not yet repented. I was about three
weeks away from the A'levels and I had no books, I had
attended no lectures and was ignorant about what was
to happen in the exams. Daddy sent us to an aunt's
home which was quiet for us to prepare for the A'levels.
I had lost hope in a possibility of passing. He told me
that God was saying to me that give me your heart and I
would give you the A 'levels. In this state I still was hesitant about
abandoning the life I had lived because somewhere I understood fully that I
could not come ack to Jesus without returning to a total wholehearted obedience
to him in all things as a daily matter. So I hesitated about giving my heart
back to God. I tried to look for a midway where I would have some say in the
choices of my life but I knew deep inside that such had no place in the kingdom
of God. I knew only too well the story of the Rich young ruler. My mother
helped me to study along with my junior brother who was in the same class with
me. They got me to answer past questions in abundance using my brother's notes.
We wrote the A' levels and began waiting for the results. Some where during the
wait I could help myself no more and I told God, “I give you
my heart oh God! In mercy give me the A'
Levels.” I told my mother that I wanted to repent. She gave me a book
titled “TRUE REPENTANCE” I read the book a total of
four times. In the book the author defined the way back
to God. For clarity sake I would describe each step as I
read it and how it affected me.
In the book the author outlined seven steps to true
repentance as opposed to false repentance which
brought about no change.
- He said there must be a godly knowledge of sin. That is sin must be
seen and know for what God knows it to be. Then he went on to describe
what sin was. Two points here stabbed my heart. The first was that I
realised that all sin was primarily and foremost against God. And that God
was the prime sufferer for all the sin I had committed. He said sin was a
knife into the heart of God. It hit me hard. For some reason I saw at
least in part the horror of what I had done to God by my sexual
immorality, my theft, my cheating, my lying, gambling, rebellion, love of
the world, love of the things of this world, and my bondage to a life of
trying to gratify myself. It caused me deep grief
inside and I wept bitterly before God for my sins.
- He said there must be godly sorrow for sin committed. Having be
given a glimpse of what sin
did to God I was deeply sorrowful about what I had
done to God and to man. It caused me to weep bitterly.
- He said that sin must be confessed to God in detail
as God know it to be and that godly confession of sin meant that you
confessed your sins as God knew them to be without trying to hide any
facts. I began to confess my sins to God. I wrote down in a
book all the acts of sin that I could remember. I wrote to my father and
confessed to him the sins that I had committed. After some time I
remembered more sins that I had committed and went again to him and confessed
them. Later on I gain went to him in greater details to confess
more sins after I had confessed them to God. I kept
confessing the sins as I remembered and as they came to me. Then I
confessed my sins to those against whom I had committed them. I confessed
to my mother the things I had stolen from her. Bed
sheets, curtains, electrical appliances, and money. I confessed the lies
that I had told to her and the immoralities of my life. I confessed to my
uncles and aunties from whom I had stolen. I confessed to
my brothers and sisters my thefts from them and
my other sin against them.
- Then he said there must be a godly forsaking of sin.
There must be separation from all the acts, company, places of
sin. I immediately wrote to the girls whom I called my “girl
friends” and said, “Dear enemy, the life we have been living has been
one of sin against God and it is ended to day. Please
forgive me for it has been sin against you too. The relationship is ended as of now.
I exhort you to do what I have done and get right with
God.” I separated from the friends with whom I used to gamble and never
went again near where I used to gamble. The friends with whom I used to
visit night clubs, I separated from totally and stopped meeting with them.
I made new friends who walked with God.
- He said there must be restitution for sins committed. He said the
person who wanted to truly repent must put right that we he had put wrong
as much as was humanly possible. I made a list of the people from whom I
had stolen and whom I had defrauded and the amounts that I had
stolen. I confessed to those whom I had wronged and paid back to those who
I had wronged. From some I multiplied the sum by four and paid back. Up
till now I have not yet fully restituted. I still have the list and
continue to pray for it that God will provide me with the means necessary
to fully restitute. As I was confessing to my mother and restituting, I
told her that it was painful. She said that those whom I had wronged were
equally pained when I wronged them. I begged the girls whom I had promised
marriage that they should forgive me and release me. I prayed for them
continually that they would be married and by the
mercies of God they are all married.
- Then he said that we were to seek forgiveness from
God. I then asked the Lord to forgive and He did.
- Then he said that we were to seek restoration into the heart of
God. I asked the Lord to restore me toHis heart. I knew God was under no
obligation to either forgive me or restore me to His heart. I pleaded with
Him to forgive me and to cleanse me and restore me. After that I had
assurance that I was forgiven and restored.
I began to walk with God once again. I was
blessed by God with a wonderful wife. This is how I came to know Jesus. Slowly
I am coming into a joy that that is beyond the external impulse. That is how I
came to know Jesus Christ.
Combattre pour la foi qui a
été transmise aux saints une fois pour toutes (Jude 1 :3-4)
Bible Study Series Walking in Agape-Love
to the End (Mat. 24:13, saved)
Partages
Bibliques Marcher en Agape-Charité
jusqu’a la Fin (Mat. 24:13, sauvé)
Montréal – Longueuil – Laval
BH1 HEUREUX ceux qui examinent chaque jour les Écritures pour
voir si ce qu’on leur disait était exact (Actes 17:10-12)
10 Aussitôt les frères firent partir de nuit Paul et Silas pour
Bérée. Lorsqu'ils furent arrivés, ils entrèrent dans la synagogue des Juifs. 11 Ces Juifs avaient des sentiments plus nobles que ceux de
Thessalonique; ils reçurent la parole avec beaucoup d'empressement, et ils
examinaient chaque jour les Écritures, pour voir si ce qu'on leur disait était
exact.
12 Plusieurs d'entre eux crurent, ainsi
que beaucoup de femmes grecques de distinction, et beaucoup d'hommes.
BH1 HEUREUX ceux qui ne sont pas avec la plus grand nombre dont
la charité se refroidira (Mat. 24:11-13)
11 Plusieurs faux prophètes s'élèveront, et ils
séduiront beaucoup de gens.12 Et, parce que l'iniquité se sera accrue, la
charité du plus grand nombre se refroidira.
13 Mais celui qui persévérera jusqu'à la
fin sera sauvé.
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